Growing up most of us are lucky to have grandparents! The best part is that they are all so different and can teach you so much.
My Dad's Mom who we called Nana was a very religious woman. Losing her husband when I was only about four everyone wondered how she would survive without her soul mate. Faith can be such a wonderful, powerful and comforting thing. She began going to church every day of the week finding comfort there. I was always curious about her Catholic faith and wanted to learn much more about it.
I recall go to church with her and seeing her pull out her Rosary which I thought was so pretty. Holding it and praying in silence. I wanted to be a part of it too. I had a gold cross necklace that she gave me and decided I would hold the cross in my hand and pray too! (although I was never really too sure what we were praying about).
She was so much fun to play with and visiting her apartment was a lot of fun. We would walk to Wendy's for a chocolate frosty and would take a short cut by hoping a chain link fence. I thought "How cool is my Nana she can hop a fence!"
I have since taken it upon myself to learn the Rosary and it's value. It has helped me in countless times of uncertainty and sadness.
My Grandpa (my Mom's Dad) was another favourite to visit for me. He would always talk to me and made me feel grown up! I remember being at his funeral and one of my younger cousins explained that he always appreciated when Grandpa would shake his hand and call him sir. He made all of us feel like a respected grown up. (hard to find when you're a child)
Grandpa was fairly predictable in what to expect when you spent time with him. Always having a project on the go or if you spent the night you would hear him on his ham radio at 5:00am every morning hearing him announce over the speaker "Good morning to everyone out there this is VE3 APW." (also known as VE3 Alpha Papa Whiskey) He was a chain smoker and as a child I found the smell pleasant and still do. A reminder of someone who was always so good to his grand kids.
He worked for the Region of Durham for many years eventually becoming the administrator of Hillsdale Manor (Now Hillsdale Estates & Terraces). When I was in high school I decided to volunteer at Hillsdale for my hours because Grandpa had worked there. It was that year that he was diagnosed with lung cancer and had a wish to die at home.
I began visiting him every weekend and weeknights when I could. Unfortunately I was unable to really help care for him because his dignity was important to him and with much hesitation allowed his kids to care for him. Seeing his happy demeanour change was heartbreaking and I didn't know what else to do.
Then I remembered when I was small and he would call on my Birthday which was always when he was in Florida. He would say "Hey Kate you're lookin' good!" I loved when he said that to me. I then started making a point of telling him he was lookin' good every time I came to see him and would make him smile! That was a great feeling and I then made it my goal to cheer him up every time I came to see him.
He died in his home with family around him.
Having such great grandparents truly helped to shape my interest and goals to this day.
More stories to come on special seniors in my life...
Thursday, 19 January 2012
Tuesday, 10 January 2012
Friends Forever...
I met LF when I was in my first year of College. I was instantly drawn to her cheerful vibe, unique style and as she sat in front of me on the first day I saw a fairy tattoo on her back and thought I need to tell her how much I like it!
From there we began a lasting friendship. I feel that everything happens for a reason. This would prove true as that year went on. I learned that she was going through a difficult family breakup. In respect of her and her family I don't plan on going into details regarding the situation. The one thing that happend was that she had to move from her childhood home to an apartment building. I couldn't imagine going through this myself and thinking about how easily everything can change in your life.
I wanted to help in anyway I could because my friends happiness was/is important to me.
I remember one night at the apartment her mom was working late and we had recently become obsessed with F.R.I.E.N.D.S episodes. (wait I'll be honest I already had the obsession and just got her hooked as well) I will never forget what happend when her mom came home visibly upset about a few issues that had gone on in her day. L was frustrated with all the constant negativity that hearing her mom upset again frustrated her and she stopped her mom and said "MOM!" she went quiet then said "do you see this TV in front of us?" "And do you see the show that's on? That Mom is my happy place.. in that box right there in front of us! Please if you love me you will just sit down and get happy with us!"... She sat down and watched.
Seven years later she has overcome so much and is still is such a positive light... I can safely say I have found a friend for life!
From there we began a lasting friendship. I feel that everything happens for a reason. This would prove true as that year went on. I learned that she was going through a difficult family breakup. In respect of her and her family I don't plan on going into details regarding the situation. The one thing that happend was that she had to move from her childhood home to an apartment building. I couldn't imagine going through this myself and thinking about how easily everything can change in your life.
I wanted to help in anyway I could because my friends happiness was/is important to me.
I remember one night at the apartment her mom was working late and we had recently become obsessed with F.R.I.E.N.D.S episodes. (wait I'll be honest I already had the obsession and just got her hooked as well) I will never forget what happend when her mom came home visibly upset about a few issues that had gone on in her day. L was frustrated with all the constant negativity that hearing her mom upset again frustrated her and she stopped her mom and said "MOM!" she went quiet then said "do you see this TV in front of us?" "And do you see the show that's on? That Mom is my happy place.. in that box right there in front of us! Please if you love me you will just sit down and get happy with us!"... She sat down and watched.
Monday, 9 January 2012
Highschool...
Where to begin... it came as quickly as it went. I'm refering to highschool..yes I still remember my first day . Grade nine and only 4'11.5 ft. tall, which several people reminded me of daily. By the end of my first day I was NOT going back!
I made aquaintences in highschool and was burned multiple times thanks to the caddyness that girls have in them. This was something I was not used to was nastey people who spread rumors... I always enjoy watching Easy A, a movie that is so true it makes it funnier everytime I watch it.
For those of you who haven't seen it, it is about one girl who heard a rumor regarding the fact that she had sex with another student. (By the way if you attempt to stop an incorrect rumour about yourself in highschool... no one believes you) The main character never stops this rumour and it gets to the point where everyone hates her in the school!
Successfully completing high-school a virgin and frankly could care less about this NOW..then it was not so cool. I had a similar rumour started in my final year of school. Luckily I was in a four credit co-op and the last half of the year I was working in a Long-Term Care facility which helped me make the honour roll for my final year! This was a true achievement to me as school was a regular struggle and being lucky enough to find my passion in high-school made me work twice as hard that final semester.
The rumour that made it's way around the school was that I was fooling around with my friends boyfriend. Wow, a big slap in the face...that still stays with me to this day and why I talk to only about two people still from highschool. My friends boyfriend and I shared the same spare together and we both loved ACDC, Jimmy Hendrix and other similar bands. He was an awesome drummer and skateboarder! He was hilarious and we had the best time being friends! The day the rumour started was when we walked to his house on our spare and he taught me how to play the drums.. that was an awesome day.. until the next day came and the rest of the year fell apart.
Luckily I maintained a friendship during highschool that helped me survive! Remember that girl in grade school who liked pink? Yup her! She made highschool so much fun for me. I had more fun on Friday nights eating bags of Reisens and Chips, watching hours of F.R.I.E.N.D.S and laughing sooo hard. Going out for coffees and talking for hours, going to movies and shopping. Harmless awesome fun! I'm so glad and blessed to have had such a good friend. Did we ever get invited to that awesome party where everyone got drunk and several went to hospital due to alcohol poisioning? No...we were never that cool! Our sad uncool reputation made us laugh at ourselves throughout highschool and not caring what others thought of us was the best way to get through.
We had a few classes together but not many. Grade 11 history was where we had our best times at school! We wrote notes to eachother... no wait not notes short stories that would fill both sides of the paper. We had an excellent system of passing pencil cases with the perfectly folded note inside. I still have to this day a note from her I've enjoyed re-reading this note several times over these last few years. Once higschool was over she moved away to University, this would prove to be very hard on me since the only person who truly knew and understood me was gone.
I was happy to get out of highschool and start college...I had a boyfriend who many thought was not for me at this time but we had a blast together! Seven months of laughs and companionship and I never regreted that.
All my friends were very similar and lived a similar lifestyle to me growing up. As I started to meet different guys, I would visit their homes with a very different lifestyle then I was used to. I enjoyed learning how each family functioned and the differences from my own.
One I met lived in a triplex basement apartment with his mom... he grew up with a harder lifestyle and learning all about it was exciting and fasinating to me. He was the first person to introduce me to psychic abilities and I was truly blown away! He also had a great goal of becoming a police officer and worked hard at college to do well and successfully graduated. However growing up in a difficult area and knowing people who have not always followed the law has made it difficult to be accepted to a force. In my opinion he would be a true asset to any police force with a wealth of knowledge and a terrific backbone! A very hard working individual.
His best friend lived on his own in a basement apartment which to me was a comfortable place to live and he also had a hard upbringing. I was intrigued and inspired by each of these people and the difficulties they encountered along the way.
On to my first year of college... well this was one of the most challenging years in my life and I will leave out several details. I had a strange relationship that consumed my life and I became obsessed with it. I must say during this year (which I rarely attended classes as I was in his) I learned a lot about what I want in a real relationship and what I truly never want. For that I thank him. He is now happily engaged and looks like he has found some balance in his own life and I'm so happy to see that!
The best thing that came out of that first year was meeting a new best friend. She deserves another post of her own!
I made aquaintences in highschool and was burned multiple times thanks to the caddyness that girls have in them. This was something I was not used to was nastey people who spread rumors... I always enjoy watching Easy A, a movie that is so true it makes it funnier everytime I watch it.
For those of you who haven't seen it, it is about one girl who heard a rumor regarding the fact that she had sex with another student. (By the way if you attempt to stop an incorrect rumour about yourself in highschool... no one believes you) The main character never stops this rumour and it gets to the point where everyone hates her in the school!
Successfully completing high-school a virgin and frankly could care less about this NOW..then it was not so cool. I had a similar rumour started in my final year of school. Luckily I was in a four credit co-op and the last half of the year I was working in a Long-Term Care facility which helped me make the honour roll for my final year! This was a true achievement to me as school was a regular struggle and being lucky enough to find my passion in high-school made me work twice as hard that final semester.
The rumour that made it's way around the school was that I was fooling around with my friends boyfriend. Wow, a big slap in the face...that still stays with me to this day and why I talk to only about two people still from highschool. My friends boyfriend and I shared the same spare together and we both loved ACDC, Jimmy Hendrix and other similar bands. He was an awesome drummer and skateboarder! He was hilarious and we had the best time being friends! The day the rumour started was when we walked to his house on our spare and he taught me how to play the drums.. that was an awesome day.. until the next day came and the rest of the year fell apart.
Luckily I maintained a friendship during highschool that helped me survive! Remember that girl in grade school who liked pink? Yup her! She made highschool so much fun for me. I had more fun on Friday nights eating bags of Reisens and Chips, watching hours of F.R.I.E.N.D.S and laughing sooo hard. Going out for coffees and talking for hours, going to movies and shopping. Harmless awesome fun! I'm so glad and blessed to have had such a good friend. Did we ever get invited to that awesome party where everyone got drunk and several went to hospital due to alcohol poisioning? No...we were never that cool! Our sad uncool reputation made us laugh at ourselves throughout highschool and not caring what others thought of us was the best way to get through.
We had a few classes together but not many. Grade 11 history was where we had our best times at school! We wrote notes to eachother... no wait not notes short stories that would fill both sides of the paper. We had an excellent system of passing pencil cases with the perfectly folded note inside. I still have to this day a note from her I've enjoyed re-reading this note several times over these last few years. Once higschool was over she moved away to University, this would prove to be very hard on me since the only person who truly knew and understood me was gone.
I was happy to get out of highschool and start college...I had a boyfriend who many thought was not for me at this time but we had a blast together! Seven months of laughs and companionship and I never regreted that.
All my friends were very similar and lived a similar lifestyle to me growing up. As I started to meet different guys, I would visit their homes with a very different lifestyle then I was used to. I enjoyed learning how each family functioned and the differences from my own.
One I met lived in a triplex basement apartment with his mom... he grew up with a harder lifestyle and learning all about it was exciting and fasinating to me. He was the first person to introduce me to psychic abilities and I was truly blown away! He also had a great goal of becoming a police officer and worked hard at college to do well and successfully graduated. However growing up in a difficult area and knowing people who have not always followed the law has made it difficult to be accepted to a force. In my opinion he would be a true asset to any police force with a wealth of knowledge and a terrific backbone! A very hard working individual.
His best friend lived on his own in a basement apartment which to me was a comfortable place to live and he also had a hard upbringing. I was intrigued and inspired by each of these people and the difficulties they encountered along the way.
On to my first year of college... well this was one of the most challenging years in my life and I will leave out several details. I had a strange relationship that consumed my life and I became obsessed with it. I must say during this year (which I rarely attended classes as I was in his) I learned a lot about what I want in a real relationship and what I truly never want. For that I thank him. He is now happily engaged and looks like he has found some balance in his own life and I'm so happy to see that!
The best thing that came out of that first year was meeting a new best friend. She deserves another post of her own!
Sunday, 8 January 2012
Thinking Back...
Growing up... I'm still growing up. I do however look back on these short 25 years I have been in this body as Katie. I was born and raised in Oshawa, Ontario, Canada a GM town. I was blessed from day one. My upbringing was very typical, I had two loving parents and a sister who is six years older then myself.
From the very beginning I was a quiet and shy child. I loved my family and going everywhere with them. I lived in a quiet neighbourhood where most of the resident's were already retired. There were very few children around and I was alright with that. Playing on my own was fun and I rarely got borde. Our backyard was large for a city home and I would get lost in my own imagination.
I often look back and wonder why I chose to play the games I made up. While most little girls enjoy playing house, teacher and secretary, my most interesting exciting game was to play pioneers. (My best girl friend growing up will tell you it got old playing this game every time she came to visit!) I however thought you could never get borde of such a fun game. I would always pretend I was working on a farm, with horses, riding my imaginary horse around the backyard and I would bring this game to school with me as well during recess. I would pretend I was very poor living with the bare means of life and appreciating that. (I have truly wondered if this perhaps was a past life of mine)
I worried often as a child. Thoughts that generally most children never speak of. "What's going to happen to me?" "I'm the youngest in my family, which means I will be all alone one day in the future." That truly terrified me.
My Dad spoiled me as most do with their daughters. I took great interest in the things that made him happy and what made him upset. (he was rarely upset with me) I do remember always wanting him to be happy as I could feel his stress so strongly at times it would upset me. Dad was always stressed with his job as a highschool english teacher. I always knew that his job stressed him out and he was no longer happy with it. When he was on vacation he would become a much happier engaging person and while he was working he was visably stressed.
Mom and I had a good bond from the beginning as well. I again took great interest in what made her happy and upset. She had very different interests then Dad and I was able to experience the best of both of their worlds and the very best when we were all together.
Both my parents were hard workers and consistant with everything throughout my childhood.
My sister had a unique personality that didn't mesh all the time with mine and yet worked at other times. We played together like most sisters and fought like all sisters do! She is six years older then me and as the years went on there was less of an interest to play together because she was experiencing new things that I wouldn't experience for many more years. Our relationship never truly strengthened as we both struggled to make our way through school. She likes to think of herself as somewhat of a rebel growing up and I was much more reserved. This was true to a point. I watched her a lot and learned from her mistakes. I saw how upset my parents got and vowed I would never repeat the same actions.
Elementary school was full of struggles and achievements for me. Although I was shy when I started elementary school that changed. It did take a couple years to adjust and hating loud noise and frequent headaches made school a challenge. I came out of my shell nicely and was often the one making jokes and enjoyed making other kids laugh. I also enjoyed getting to know who my teachers were and watching what made them tick.
By grade 5 I had 5 girl friends that were all very different and yet we all played together until the true turmoil of being a pre-teen set in. I'm not sure how to discribe myself in the group... I had a small obsession with wanting to be gothic...watching a marilyn manson music video at the age of 12 and loving how strange and most likely misunderstood he was. One of the six of us girls was the overacheiver, involved in every sport and managing to get A's. The other was a A student as well and was obsessed with keeping her desk neat and tidy! I always admired this about her and wanted so badly to be the same. (She was consistantly teased for this but I thought it showed she enjoyed learning and I wanted the same for myself) I would then look in my desk unsure of even where to begin to sort through the mess. Her mother would put a friendly note in her lunch bag each time she stayed for lunch... I wanted this too! She was teased consistantly through grade school and I saw her as misunderstood as well and had a truly fantastic relationship with her because I really looked up to her morals and her ability to tackle school work and do well! Not to mention the fact that she LOVED pink. For some reason everyone thought that made her more of a geek and teased her further.... high school would change that as Pink became the colour to love.(strange)
The next girl in our group was the first person I had ever met who's parents got a divorce. That was interesting to me. She was an average student, she played soccer and dressed like me which often was slushy pants and t-shirt (we dressed like boys a lot) Jeans were considered uncool at this point. We were quiet close as well although fought more. Laugh attacks are one of the highlights of this friend and getting in trouble during class because of it.
The last two girls were close with each other and yet remaind friends with the rest of our group. They were girlier although we all seemed to go through the phase of slushy pants and tear aways... both tended to cause the most drama in the group. I look back and don't judge them for anything because we all had our nastey caddy moments. But for some reason one of us would always be fighting with the other.
We were a fairly inseperable group, until highschool. I had become fairly accepted at school and was never made fun of... I rarely teased others and would chat with everyone unless prevoked in some way to be upset or to avoid them. I loved everyone when I graduated and the adjustment to highschool would be difficult for me.
From the very beginning I was a quiet and shy child. I loved my family and going everywhere with them. I lived in a quiet neighbourhood where most of the resident's were already retired. There were very few children around and I was alright with that. Playing on my own was fun and I rarely got borde. Our backyard was large for a city home and I would get lost in my own imagination.
I often look back and wonder why I chose to play the games I made up. While most little girls enjoy playing house, teacher and secretary, my most interesting exciting game was to play pioneers. (My best girl friend growing up will tell you it got old playing this game every time she came to visit!) I however thought you could never get borde of such a fun game. I would always pretend I was working on a farm, with horses, riding my imaginary horse around the backyard and I would bring this game to school with me as well during recess. I would pretend I was very poor living with the bare means of life and appreciating that. (I have truly wondered if this perhaps was a past life of mine)
I worried often as a child. Thoughts that generally most children never speak of. "What's going to happen to me?" "I'm the youngest in my family, which means I will be all alone one day in the future." That truly terrified me.
My Dad spoiled me as most do with their daughters. I took great interest in the things that made him happy and what made him upset. (he was rarely upset with me) I do remember always wanting him to be happy as I could feel his stress so strongly at times it would upset me. Dad was always stressed with his job as a highschool english teacher. I always knew that his job stressed him out and he was no longer happy with it. When he was on vacation he would become a much happier engaging person and while he was working he was visably stressed.
Mom and I had a good bond from the beginning as well. I again took great interest in what made her happy and upset. She had very different interests then Dad and I was able to experience the best of both of their worlds and the very best when we were all together.
Both my parents were hard workers and consistant with everything throughout my childhood.
My sister had a unique personality that didn't mesh all the time with mine and yet worked at other times. We played together like most sisters and fought like all sisters do! She is six years older then me and as the years went on there was less of an interest to play together because she was experiencing new things that I wouldn't experience for many more years. Our relationship never truly strengthened as we both struggled to make our way through school. She likes to think of herself as somewhat of a rebel growing up and I was much more reserved. This was true to a point. I watched her a lot and learned from her mistakes. I saw how upset my parents got and vowed I would never repeat the same actions.
Elementary school was full of struggles and achievements for me. Although I was shy when I started elementary school that changed. It did take a couple years to adjust and hating loud noise and frequent headaches made school a challenge. I came out of my shell nicely and was often the one making jokes and enjoyed making other kids laugh. I also enjoyed getting to know who my teachers were and watching what made them tick.
By grade 5 I had 5 girl friends that were all very different and yet we all played together until the true turmoil of being a pre-teen set in. I'm not sure how to discribe myself in the group... I had a small obsession with wanting to be gothic...watching a marilyn manson music video at the age of 12 and loving how strange and most likely misunderstood he was. One of the six of us girls was the overacheiver, involved in every sport and managing to get A's. The other was a A student as well and was obsessed with keeping her desk neat and tidy! I always admired this about her and wanted so badly to be the same. (She was consistantly teased for this but I thought it showed she enjoyed learning and I wanted the same for myself) I would then look in my desk unsure of even where to begin to sort through the mess. Her mother would put a friendly note in her lunch bag each time she stayed for lunch... I wanted this too! She was teased consistantly through grade school and I saw her as misunderstood as well and had a truly fantastic relationship with her because I really looked up to her morals and her ability to tackle school work and do well! Not to mention the fact that she LOVED pink. For some reason everyone thought that made her more of a geek and teased her further.... high school would change that as Pink became the colour to love.(strange)
The next girl in our group was the first person I had ever met who's parents got a divorce. That was interesting to me. She was an average student, she played soccer and dressed like me which often was slushy pants and t-shirt (we dressed like boys a lot) Jeans were considered uncool at this point. We were quiet close as well although fought more. Laugh attacks are one of the highlights of this friend and getting in trouble during class because of it.
The last two girls were close with each other and yet remaind friends with the rest of our group. They were girlier although we all seemed to go through the phase of slushy pants and tear aways... both tended to cause the most drama in the group. I look back and don't judge them for anything because we all had our nastey caddy moments. But for some reason one of us would always be fighting with the other.
We were a fairly inseperable group, until highschool. I had become fairly accepted at school and was never made fun of... I rarely teased others and would chat with everyone unless prevoked in some way to be upset or to avoid them. I loved everyone when I graduated and the adjustment to highschool would be difficult for me.
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